Mind Excellence: Fine Tuning Your Locus of Control

Self-Actualization
Mind Excellence: Fine Tuning Your Locus of Control
‘‘
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr (The Serenity Prayer)
We’ve all heard the shocking statistics concerning human beings and worry.

In the now infamous study conducted by Dr. Walter Calvert, it was found that only 8% of the things people worried about were actual legitimate matters of concern. The rest comprised of things that either never happened (40%), had already happened (30%) or things that were in some way already out of their control (22%).

While you could argue that adopting an over-pessimistic attitude may give you the motivation to take right action and contribute to the 40% statistic, there is definitely no benefit to be gained from worrying about things outside of your control – and astonishingly these account for over half (30% + 22%) of the things people worried about in the study. That’s a lot of wasted energy that could have been used for something they can control.

In general, someone with a healthy locus of control will only concern themselves with things which they are capable of influencing.

Let’s take a look at some of the things that are outside of our control that many of us tend to struggle accepting the most - and how we can start directing them in a more psychologically healthy way...
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"Why Am I So Unhappy?": How We’ve Spent Our Entire Lives Learning To Be Unhappy

Self-Actualization
"Why Am I So Unhappy?": How We’ve Spent Our Entire Lives Learning To Be Unhappy
It makes sense that everything we do in life is, in some way, devoted to maintaining our happiness.
‘‘
The way we see the problem is the problem.

-Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Take the following examples:
  • We constantly strive towards the ideal body so that we can look and feel good.
  • We work towards financial freedom to do or have what we want.
  • We try to meet and attract higher quality partners and improve our relationships to form deeper, more authentic connections.
And all of this in order to make us happy. Makes sense, right?

Wrong. These things are not required for happiness. In fact, we would like to propose that happiness is an innate, default state that can be brought to the surface at any moment - regardless of how much (or how little) we have of these things.

Happiness as an Innate, Default State

Many people reading this will be thinking:

“If happiness is already a default state, then why are so many people unhappy? And why does my life suck?”
[quote]…many of us have spent much of our lives learning to be unhappy. We do this by buying into a mental model that is deeply flawed...
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What is Self-Actualization? [1 Min Quick-Read]

Self-Actualization
What is Self-Actualization? [1 Min Quick-Read]
A lot of people have been asking me what the term self-actualization actually means. Here’s Abraham Maslow’s definition, who brought the term most fully to prominence:

“What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization…It refers to the desire for self-fulfilment, namely, to the tendency for him to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming.”
~ Abraham Maslow


So self-actualization is not just about being yourself or being true to yourself, but rather being your best self. This requires that:...
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Your Unique Life Purpose

Self-Actualization
Your Unique Life Purpose
In society today, we have very few practises or encouragement for us to feel into our own life’s purpose, for taking a bit of time out from our busy lives to ask ourselves what it is we would like to achieve during our time on this planet.

Consequently, as we develop through adolescence and early adulthood we can end up working towards other people’s desires, which are often times very honourable, but fundamentally rooted in fear - rather than from our own life purpose.

Maybe you’re a nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. Doesn’t matter. Not believing that you have a purpose won’t prevent you from discovering it, just like a lack of belief in gravity won’t prevent you from tripping.

Finding Your Life's Purpose

Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which...
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NLP Modeling: The Science of Modeling Successful People

Self-Actualization
NLP Modeling: The Science of Modeling Successful People
There are a number of ways to achieve success, but the truth is, not all of the tried and true ‘conventional’ methods work for everyone. In fact, in many ways, starting from scratch can be a long hard road with many distractions and detours.

It has often been said that “imitation is the highest form of flattery” – but it can also be the best way to move towards success, especially if using neuro-linguistic programming, or NLP. This ‘modeling’ technique essentially involves the adoption of...
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Authenticity: Unapologetic Expression & Returning to the Origin

Self-Actualization
Authenticity: Unapologetic Expression & Returning to the Origin
Gaudi believed that the origin of all things is nature. For him, nature's purpose was not aesthetic, but was functional. Nature does not try to make works of art but rather produces elements that rule the growth and reproduction of a species. He walked a tightrope on the line that bridged art and science.

Did you know that there’s a copy of the Mona Lisa? Historians have concluded that it was probably created by one of Da Vinci’s students around the same time as the original, and probably under his supervision. However, on looking at the copy...
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